xxajxx (xxajxx) wrote,

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I don't sleep at all anymore.

Every night at exactly 1 AM my life becomes a living hell.

I get so anxious that i start to pace. I get so frustrated that I can't sit still and I don't know what to do. I get so absolutely hopeless I can't even think. I get so worried that I become scared shitless. When I try to think of something that will take my mind off of it for even minutes, I automaticly think of all the things I could have/should have done in my lifetime that has made me the miserable disgusting wreck I am at this very moment. It's like I just keep waiting and waiting for something and it never arrives, but I don't know what that something is. There is a feeling worse than any dispair or misery that I've ever felt before gripping my soul and it won't let go.

I seriously want to just run outside in the freezing cold wearing next to nothing just so that I could feel something that wasn't what I am feeling right now.

Please, anyone, help me.
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